This is not a post for the weak of heart - or stomach! - I am going to say terrible and disgusting things!
You have been warned.
I like to eat. I’m not overweight, or a food snob, nor do I have a particular palate, but I do like food. That being said, I very nearly became a vegetarian today.
I was rooting through the cupboards looking for something more healthy than microwave popcorn for lunch when I decided on salmon. I’m a cretin, I used the tinned stuff in sandwiches because in addition to being a cretin, I am also lazy. Joe has taught me to leave in the little bit of skin and the bones that come in it as they are, respectively, a valuable source of grossness and calcium.
So there I am, mashing up salmon and skin and bone and glopping on the mayo when it hits me: I am mixing up a bowl of flesh and bone with mayo. Actual FLESH! and BONE!! with MAYO!!! I cannot find words for how disgusting this mix became to me. I looked at it, I wrinkled my nose at it and thought “What kind of barbarian eats mashed up fish flesh and bone? What sort of Neanderthal puts mayonnaise in that mix and calls it edible? What in the name of all that is good and delicious am I doing?”
Keep in mind that I have routinely disgusted roommates and boyfriends alike with my propensity for eating food while watching surgeries on TV: open heart surgeries, bowel resections, people having yard waste removed from their perforated intestines, live births (both caesarian and natural), liposuction, reconstructive plastic surgeries, autopsies etc.
I have also volunteered in the emergency room of a fairly large hospital where I saw actual things that would make other people throw up (and I saw a fair bit of throwing up too!) and I have a paramedic for a father.
I am no stranger to gross things.
Yet - today the thought of eating that salmon made me queasy. Me - of all people!
Of course, I am a practical person in many ways - I ate the sandwich anyway. No point in being wasteful after all, but I still feel a little sick. There is whole wheat bread and squashed up fish and mayo sliding around my insides.
It’s days like this where I’m glad I know how to make home-made ipecac.